My Life, My soul
Who : Me
What : Abondoned Life
When : 02.07.1990
Where: In her heart
Abandoned Soul
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Confusion...
Everything started today...with a phone call i got from school...and all the thoughts just flow in as if the dam in my mind is broken...
Is regarding abt my attachment, I'm being rejected by that company i being attached to, it's DSO LAB...DEFENCE SCIENCE ORGANISATION LABORTORIES OF SINGAPORE...though i had another chance to go for attachment, but going through an interview and the words CHANCE speak for everything...
Alot of things just flow into my mind...izzt me or just the economy tat affect my attachment...? I DUN KNOW...and I DUN WANT TO KNOW EITHER...hoping tat is won't worsen my mind condition...
I know that no one in this world is perfect but cracking this kind of joke with me...? HA...that's the worst tat i predicted and I doesn't want it to happen. WHO WOULD WANT THIS KIND OF THINGS TO HAPPEN TO U...maybe the choice of getting into Aerospace Electronics isn't a good idea in the 1st place, knowingly that competitions for things like this would be very fierce and tough.
And maybe it just only my naive and stupidity all the time hoping i could achieve something, but it just always goes wrong...nothing seems right for me now, not in everything i do
Alot of 'what if' is flowing through, what if i cannot get the place, what if i had to repeat 1 more semester for just only the attachment? I dun know...and i also been wondering y? Though my result isn't as great but wad abt my commitment to my sch...? My Club...? The way i manage my own time?
Not only that, unable to focus...even whn i'm working, eating listening to music..nothing just get into my head...i just lost all my mood for everything...forcing myself to laugh ard my friends, trying to think of Jubeat...but the tot just keep flowing.
In 2 years of poly...am i really slacking down too much...? Lost all my drive to do everything...maybe that cause wad happen today..having regrets can't do anything much...but maybe i just put down all the tings tat is extra for me or take up most of my time, so that i'm able to focus on my attachment...
The thought to stop shooting even pop out of no where, same here just my naive tat i'm able to excel in sports which i had not done so in my 18 years of life. Prehaps i should just stick to studying instead. Maybe i should just stick to my old life, being a lone wolf...staring ppl at high place...lonely and cold me...the robot i am before...
WHAT IS THIS...?????? CRACKING JOKE WITH MY LIFE...? HAHAHAHAHHAAAAHALabels: Fall, fallen, fell
inOUR world
