My Life, My soul
Who : Me
What : Abondoned Life
When : 02.07.1990
Where: In her heart
Abandoned Soul
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Confusion...
Everything started today...with a phone call i got from school...and all the thoughts just flow in as if the dam in my mind is broken...
Is regarding abt my attachment, I'm being rejected by that company i being attached to, it's DSO LAB...DEFENCE SCIENCE ORGANISATION LABORTORIES OF SINGAPORE...though i had another chance to go for attachment, but going through an interview and the words CHANCE speak for everything...
Alot of things just flow into my mind...izzt me or just the economy tat affect my attachment...? I DUN KNOW...and I DUN WANT TO KNOW EITHER...hoping tat is won't worsen my mind condition...
I know that no one in this world is perfect but cracking this kind of joke with me...? HA...that's the worst tat i predicted and I doesn't want it to happen. WHO WOULD WANT THIS KIND OF THINGS TO HAPPEN TO U...maybe the choice of getting into Aerospace Electronics isn't a good idea in the 1st place, knowingly that competitions for things like this would be very fierce and tough.
And maybe it just only my naive and stupidity all the time hoping i could achieve something, but it just always goes wrong...nothing seems right for me now, not in everything i do
Alot of 'what if' is flowing through, what if i cannot get the place, what if i had to repeat 1 more semester for just only the attachment? I dun know...and i also been wondering y? Though my result isn't as great but wad abt my commitment to my sch...? My Club...? The way i manage my own time?
Not only that, unable to focus...even whn i'm working, eating listening to music..nothing just get into my head...i just lost all my mood for everything...forcing myself to laugh ard my friends, trying to think of Jubeat...but the tot just keep flowing.
In 2 years of poly...am i really slacking down too much...? Lost all my drive to do everything...maybe that cause wad happen today..having regrets can't do anything much...but maybe i just put down all the tings tat is extra for me or take up most of my time, so that i'm able to focus on my attachment...
The thought to stop shooting even pop out of no where, same here just my naive tat i'm able to excel in sports which i had not done so in my 18 years of life. Prehaps i should just stick to studying instead. Maybe i should just stick to my old life, being a lone wolf...staring ppl at high place...lonely and cold me...the robot i am before...
WHAT IS THIS...?????? CRACKING JOKE WITH MY LIFE...? HAHAHAHAHHAAAAHALabels: Fall, fallen, fell
inOUR world
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Life
I been slacking alot after CNY, k, erm...only went to school on friday, from 8a.m onwards...do project, lecture and practical session...so yup...chiong to the range ard 5+, went into the room to help Jeannel with her work...thn she went off at ard 6+, went to hav dinner at prata there, DARYL suddenly sit infront of me...tok alot...haha.
On sat, woke up like ard 8+, Meet Jie Hui at JE ard 10a.m, she pass me hte card for Kino and borders thn walk to IMM and ate some breakfast at Mac...thn go Ah Xiang house...whn i reach Xiang brother is going out, yup say hello to him and went in. Saw Jeannel playing some facebook games...slack and c her and played audition for a while. While at Xiang house, we were like trying to decided where to go eat for our lunch..actually we been deciding where to eat since friday onwards, the sequence goes like tat 1st jeannel suggested to cook lunch, thn Xiang say no ingredient, so decided to go out to hav our lunch at Burger King, I tink we use like 1 day to decide where to have our lunch...
hmm...k...erm while eating, Jeannel say something like 'Xiang u r sick, dun eat too much...' thn she took his fries and eat...i gave her mine too, cos i had Mac in the morning, a double petit 1...so i can't eat much...ya...Jeannel...not trying to make u like a pig or garfield...hahah
Walked to safra for SSA monthly shoot, Jeannel and me fell asleep while waiting for our detail, so poor Mata hav to be guard for our stuff...so draw my gun, the shoot ish BAD, dun know wad the hell am i doing, talk to coach abt my shoot...well i tink i need to overcome my mental problem for now... :]
After the shoot, we went to orchard, Kinokuniya, Jeannel got her Book, The Umbrella Academy, tink she had be looking for it for quite while, so went ard there...and i bought some books also,,okay..maybe u won't believe this...we spend total of $150 with 20% discount...haha
(WHILE WAITING FOR TAT PIECE OF GOLD)
Went to cine, play some arcarde game, thn whn Xiang say he going off, we decided to like go to Toa Payoh to play Jubeat there...we play till like ard 9+ thn he reach...-.-
Finally we had our dinner at some food court and walk her home, thn go home...
TODAY
Slept till ard 10a.m, wash up, breakfast and went out ard 12p.m, took bus to yishun, whn i reach Yishun, i had KFC for lunch, Jeannel came to look for me, bought Pie from Pie Kai for Xiang and ourselves, Reach safra early and slack ard...so Jeannel prepare for her details, we help her out...thn watch her shoot, cab home with her, thn i went to play Jubeat, but there too many ppl, so too 157 all the way to west mall. Eat subway (yes...again i know...fastfood), bought Polar Apple strudel...and there goes my post *CLICK*
inOUR world
